Getting Better

Yesterday we had the first rain storm of the session. Mike and Jenn left at a good time. It was rainy, cold, and windy. The wind is what really gets us around here. The kids and I counted tree branches that had fallen on the way to my parents for dinner. It was Tuesday, our day to mooch a free dinner. Greg decided to head home and get some laundry done and have some alone time.

The kids and I left to go home at 7:30 pm. It was dark and still raining and windy. As usual Liam feel asleep on the way home. Typically, I unload all the crap from the car and take it into the house before getting the kids in the house, but I open their doors so I can hear Brianna talking. Last night, I kept the doors closed and had a huge load to haul in; Ashley sent a bag of stuff for me into work with Joaquin, Mom had given me a bag of the kids stuff, two kids umbrellas, my purse. My hands are full and I go to open the door. It's locked. I ring the doorbell . . . twice. No answer from Greg. I have to get to my purse and fish my keys out. I'm cursing Greg under my breath as the wind and rain are beating on my back. I drop all the crap on the floor and go back out to get Brianna. I get her in and tell her to go find Daddy. I then go back out in the wind and rain to get Liam. He's just a dead weight. As I get him to the front door, Greg appears and asks if I need help. I think I gave him one of those looks. You know the one - "Where the hell were you five minutes ago. I've got it covered now."

At this point you might be wondering about the title of this post. Hold on it's coming.

I close the door forcefully and Greg says, "What's wrong?"
I think, "Really?! You're going to ask me what's wrong?"
Instead I say, "The door was locked and I'm soaking wet and I rang the door bell twice."
He then says, "Sorry. I was in the bathroom."
I say while stomping away, "I've got to get these wet clothes off."

Here it comes:

As I walk back to the bedroom to change my clothes, I realize that I'm not really mad at Greg for the door being locked. I'm really just mad and stressed from the drive home. I go back into the living room and explain to Greg.

"I'm sorry. I'm not mad at you. On the way home, I had someone right on my ass and was behind someone driving 20 mph under the speed limit - with the kids in the car. So I was just stressed out from the drive home."

So there it is. I realized what was really bothering me and that I was taking it out on my poor husband, who just wanted to use the bathroom in peace. Not only did I realize what the issue was, but I also apologized to Greg. Huge step for me and my Karma.

I'm really trying to be better about this and I'm noticing it's making both Greg and I happier.

Now why is it that we abuse the ones we love the most?!