Karma

I was reading a blog post about a Karma Project that an ordinary woman was embarking upon. Now she’s not one of those New Age types, she’s just a regular person like you and I trying to better herself through the use of Buddhist principles. This inspired me because I truly believe in Karma and reincarnation. I think in each life you are given some lessons to learn and if you don’t learn them the first time, then you get another life to figure it out. When you/your soul has learned everything and you’ve gotten all you can out of your physical lives, then you finally get to move onto the next plain of existence (Nirvina, Heaven, Whatever you want to call it). If you don’t spend your physical life trying to learn these lessons or if you do great harm, then your next life will be worse than your current life. Personally I like this version of hell better than the Christian one, mostly because you really are held accountable for your actions and just can’t ask for forgiveness. Have you ever had to deal with the person that is really good about saying they are sorry about whatever they did to you, but they don’t ever change their behavior. After a while you have to wonder how sorry they really are, but I digress. (And for my Christian friends, I do understand that God has a better ability than I to tell if someone is truly asking for forgiveness with an open heart)

Being inspired and believing one of my lessons for this life is to learn to be patient with everyone, I decided to try to follow this woman’s model to increase my good Karma and decrease my bad Karma. The model is basically this: Keep a tally on a piece of paper, putting a check mark in the negative category whenever I:

· Killed a bug (Buddhist teachings include not eating animals, but that’s not going to happen so this is as close as I’m coming to caring for all creatures)
· Said or emailed something sarcastic, negative, or mean to someone
· Lost my temper (even if no one knows I’ve lost it)
· Talked about someone behind his or her back
· Gossiped
· Lied (easy one to follow)
· Stole something (again an easy one to refrain from)

And putting a check mark in the positive category whenever I:

· Did something nice for someone
· Complimented someone (I often think these things and don’t say them to the person)
· Did not act in malice when I really wanted to
· Successfully transformed anger into compassion (much harder than it sounds)

As you can see from the list, some are going to be much, much harder than others. I’ve been doing this for two weeks, but only really being good about it in the car. In the car? You say. Yes, I have a very big problem with thinking evil thoughts while in the car. I don’t have patience for other drivers on the road, etc. Basically I have road rage, which since having children has gotten better (or at least while they are in the car). So my drives into work lately have gone something like this.

Damn, this guy in front of me is driving slow. I can’t wait to get to Davis, so I can pass him. Now wait Erin! The fact that he’s going 5 mph under the speed limit and you’re stuck behind him may be saving you from getting in an accident that’s going to happen up ahead and the universe is saving you from that.

Son of a bitch, that woman almost hit me when she sped up to merge in front of me. What the hell? Now she’s going to make me miss the green light because she’s doing her make-up in the mirror and didn’t notice it turned green. I wish I had that laser vaporizer thing to just get rid of her ass. Oh that’s not good, my Karma just went in the toilet. Okay, think of something. Think! Uhh, maybe it makes her nervous to be behind an SUV because she can’t see around it (don’t worry that your car is a very small SUV) and so she just had to get in front. It’s very smart of her to only do her makeup at stop lights, since I’ve been behind women putting on makeup at 45 mph.

The first day I was working on my driving Karma, I did really good. I was pretty relaxed too and only 3 minutes later to work than normal. I had a morning appointment that day (blood work, urg), which is important to know because of the parking situation at work. Because I come in at 7:00, I typically get a good spot on the side of the building which is close. By 8:00 all those spots are gone. I got back from my appointment at 8:15ish and actually saw someone leaving that parking lot after not finding a spot. Before I turn into MY parking lot, I see my spot I had earlier and it’s still empty. What are the chances? This never happens. Oh my gosh, it’s my good driving Karma at work and almost immediately. It surely was a sign from the universe that I was on the right path.

Even with that immediate result, it’s been a tough couple of weeks trying to keep up the good Karma. I’m definitely going to keep trying because it can only help me in the long run.

I was severely tested on Monday and I didn’t do well at all. I completely lost my temper and let it effect my interaction with another person, who had nothing to do with the situation I was angry about. I’ll blog about that in more detail later. I think I’m going to try to do a Karma update on this blog every Friday. I know it’s not really related to updating you on the latest cute thing the kids have done, but I do think it relates to the fact that I should be a better mother and wife for doing this.

Wish me mindfulness!